Terminated Soul

[Sapphira]

Next fic!! This is gonna be quite a long one I think, hope you all like it!!

This is gonna very dark and angsty and if I can write it properly then it should be quite sad as well.

TERMINATED SOUL

Where once was light, now darkness falls.
Where once was love, love is no more.
Don't say goodbye.
Don't say I didn't try.



In that darkness secrets were born.
In that light, lies were formed.

One man led a silent suffering life. He did it alone.
He dug himself into a hole, deeper and deeper and refused to let others help him. He fed his friends lies and fed himself pain. He was his own worst enemy.
He dwelled in his hole and never sought help.



These tears we cry,
Are falling rain
For all the lies you told us,
The hurt, the blame.
And we will weep
To be so alone.
We are lost,
We can never go home.


So in the end,
I'll be what I will be,
No loyal friend,
Was ever there for me.
Now we say goodbye,
We say you didn't try.



One woman tried to help this man. She did it alone.
He confided in her, and she tried to help him dig himself out of that hole. He wouldn’t allow her. He wallowed in self-pity and selfishness, never realising she had a secret of her own.
She walked out on him.




These tears you cry,
Have come too late.
Take back the lies,
The hurt, the blame.
And you will weep
When you face the end alone.
You are lost,
You can never go home.

You are lost, you can never go home...

[/i]

[tomsgirl]

Wow what another fab story here Sapphira more please soon.

[missking]

thats mint more soon please its brill

[rtzen01]

wow brill start saphira Cant wait for more

[Sapphira]

Just a taster to set the mood....




Introduction


The wailing wind blew the curtains in and out of the window. A deathly silence echoed throughout Home Farm, giving the house a feel of dereliction. The clouds were grey and low in the sky. Objects were littered around the room, giving the appearance that the building was inhabited, while the austere atmosphere contradicted this observation. The stone bricks lay the foundations for the manor, but the foundations of warmth and emotion had been lost long ago.

On a table, there lay a letter. It had been read through over and over again. There was no remnant of tearstains on the white page; it had been read with empty eyes.

It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone.

[missking]

thats mint post more soon please

[tomsgirl]

Wow Sapphira your writing has gone from strenght to strenght. More soon please keep it up you put me to shame x

[Carl'sLittleAngel&HisP.A]

Awwww wicked! Please post more up!

[maryg]

extreamly good , i wish i could write like you, were did you get your insparation.

[Sapphira]

Aww thanks guys, it means so much to me to see all your comments and they really encourage me to get writing.

[rtzen01]

Another brill update, your writing is so amazing Please post more soon

[Sapphira]

Thank you everyone!! Just for you's, an updatey!!

Part I

Chapter 1


Carl kneaded his forehead with his fist. Tears began to well due to the severe pain pulsing through his head.

“Carl, are you alright?”

“Fine.”

“You just seem a bit down, that’s all.”

“I’m not.”

“You look it.”

“Leave it Lexi.”

“Are you sure you’re ok?”

“Yes.”

“You can tell me you know, if something’s up.”

“I SAID LEAVE IT!”


The pub was silenced.

“Sorry… I didn’t mean that.”

“It’s ok, forget it.”

“I just… um…”

“It doesn’t matter.”


Chas narrowed her eyes and surveyed the subsequent stillness. Both Lexi and Carl avoided eye contact and the stiffness of their movements betrayed unease. Lexi slowly sipped her drink, while Carl sat fiddling with an empty glass and Chas wasn’t sure whether he had ordered anything at all. Carl gripped the glass in his hand, beginning to rise. Without warning, the glass slipped out of his hands and fell to the carpeted floor.

Swearing loudly, Carl shakily knelt down to pick up it up. Although still whole, it had obtained a massive crack down one side.

“You idiot! What did you do that for?”

“It just slid out of my hand.”

“You’ve been so clumsy lately, it’s so annoying!”

“It was wet, the sides were slippery and it fell – that’s all!”

“Fine, whatever. I’m going back now. See you there.”


Lexi shrugged uncertainly and left, followed by Carl. Chas double-checked they were out of sight. She walked towards the bar where the glass lay on table.


It was dry.

Something just ain't right
It just ain't right
Something just ain't right

*****

[Sapphira]

Hehe, I wonder if any of you know what's going on..............................

[rtzen01]

Amazing Sapphira, your a tremendous writer Please post more soon

[missking]

thats great i love it post more soon please

[Sapphira]

So you've got to guess what's going on here, it's not what it appears...

Chapter II

Chas breathed deeply, willing herself to serenity. She was standing outside Carl’s office, after being let in by Miles.

“What’re you doing here?” Chas rolled her eyes at Lexi.

“Auditioning for Britain’s Got Talent. What does it look like?”

“He won’t see you. He’s in a right one.”

“Tough. He’ll see me.”

“Chas, don’t – Argh! You stupid cow!” And with that, she stormed off.




“What do you want?”

“You know what Carl? I dream of a better tomorrow where people can visit other people without having their motives questioned.”

“Funny.”

“Yeah I am aren’t I?”

“What are you here for Chas?”

“I came to see if you were ok.”

“Why?”

”The scene in the Woolpack and – “

Chas stopped abruptly. She had spotted a hoard of paracetamol on the edge of the desk.

“What!” Carl snapped defensively.

“Carl, I… I… are you using?”

“What the hell! NO!”

“What am I supposed to think!? You act all clumsy, dropping stuff and then I find a load of paracetamol in your office!”

“I’m not using!”

“Carl, have you got any idea what this stuff does to you?!”

“I’M NOT USING!”

Chas jumped backwards, terrified by Carl’s outburst. His face was venomous and his grey eyes were scarlet and full of fury. She stood petrified, pinned to the door by invisible forces.

Eventually Carl’s anger melted away.

“Sorry.”

“What’s wrong with you Carl?”

“Nothing.”

“Oh right. Yeah. Of course. So what are the paracetamol doing here? What’s with all the dropping everything you come into contact with? What’s with the sudden change of character?”

“I’m not using.”

“Denial.”

“I’m not.”

“Liar.”

When the rain starts shaking the ground
I hope that you're ready now.
I hope you're ready for it when you
Get caught out in the rain. I hope you're ready now
For all the storms to head your way…

“You don’t know anything about me Chas. Just get lost and leave me alone.”

“No, because strange as it may sound, I still care about you. Old habits die hard.”

“Then go away.”

“Why do you have the pills? Why are they here?”

“Do you even remember what those pills do Chas?”

“They fix headaches. And some prescribed ones like those are highly addictive.”

“Right. They fix headaches.”

“Why’ve you got so many then?”

“I’ve had a lot of headaches.”

“Ha. Yeah. Pull the other one.”

“I get them in the morning.”

“Hangover?”

“I haven’t drunk anything in weeks.”

“Not hangover then. Why do you get them?”

“Because… I… I… don’t… don’t know.”

“How convincing.”

“Don’t you think you’d better go to the doctor?”

“No.”

“Carl…”

“Just go.”

“Wait – “

“GO!”


Get out save yourself before we're burning in hell
When sun is what you're chasing
But everyday is raining
Pockets full of silver dimes
I hope you're ready for this time...

[Sapphira]

Hehe, anyone figured Carl's secret out yet?

Saph xx

[tomsgirl]

Wow more fab updates Sapphira more soon please x

[eppsy]

Another great story. It has been a pleasure to sit at the computer and read this. More soon would be fantastic.

[missking]

is he pregnant haha its great i am loving the whole suspence LOL its mint Post more Really Really soon please x

[footy]

great story i love it

[mikinare]

I can't believe I haven't read this fi*gallopil now! It's so good. Write more, write more! I can't wait for the next update!! <3

[Sapphira]

Thanks for all your lovely comments guys!! I'll try to to have the next part up in a couple of days

[missking]

thanks i shal look forward to it x

[rtzen01]

Hey Sapphira,

Please post more soon this is an actually amazing story

[Sapphira]

Thanks for all your encouragement guys, I'm just finishing the next update - should be up in a mintue or two, stay tuned!!

[missking]

thanks will look forward to it

[Sapphira]

Time for secret revelation!! I tried to make this chapter quite emotional, but i don't think it is. Anyways...




Chapter III


The door closed softly behind her. Carl leant back against his chair, closed his eyes and sighed. There he was again, watching as she walked out of the room, walked out of his life. And yet he was the one who was compelling her to leave. There was such ugly irony. But he had to protect her. Although no stranger to crime, she was innocent – she had never known the guilt of murder or the demons of control.

And now he had another reason to turn her away. He couldn’t bear to see the look of pity in her eyes – his proud streak ran to deep for that.

My candle burns at both ends
It will not last the night…

Carl stood up shakily, attempting to steady himself. A tear seeped out from under his eyelid. He could not go through this alone.

He walked unsteadily towards the door and clumsily unlocked the door, hoping she hadn’t left. He was tired and faint, with no energy to search all over Yorkshire for her.

She was there. Leaning against the wall, staring at the ground. He breathed deeply and called her name.

“Chas?”

She tilted her head towards him, slowly lifting her eyes to meet his.

“Carl…”

“I… I… sorry. For before.”

“It’s ok, forget it.”

“No. No, it’s not ok. I treated you like crap… I… Chas, what the hell am I gonna do?!”

His face crumbled and he threw himself into her arms, seeking the only solace he could find in her.


Oh, why do you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don’t be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
’cause I’ve seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don’t know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less…


“Hey, hey. It’s ok.”

“If only you knew. If you knew…”

“Know what?”

“I… I’m so sorry Chas. Sorry for everything. Sorry for hurting you. Sorry for being such a mess, for being me, for my dad, for everything. I’m useless. And… and… it won’t matter anymore. It’ll all be… over. It’ll all be over.”

“Carl? Carl! Carl, what d’you mean? Carl you’re scaring me.”


So if you’re mad, get mad
Don’t hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?


“I… I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”

“Carl tell me? What’s going on?”


The floodwalls collapsed. Tears came flowing freely down his face like a torrent of a river.

Carl’s face was ashen. His lips trembled as he opened his mouth.


“I… I’ve… I have a brain tumour.


I have a malignant brain tumour.”

[rtzen01]

OMG OMG OMG I didn't expect that to be the secret. WOW your such a brill writer. Please post more soon

[eppsy]

Wow, great chapter. Post some more soon please.